In all these years and years I’ve been travelling the world for work or sports, I made a shocking discovery during this trip:
Until now, I had never ever taken “just a vacation”.
It was terribly easy to maintain that “all work, no play” mentality, and I am both mad and sad for that having been such a large part of my life. Fleeing from the inevitable, ignoring the obvious truth I held within. And as a result, being so soul crushingly hard on myself.
Silly example, not even using those giant towels I have after taking a shower, but only the regular sized ones.
Always going the harder route, not the kinder one.
But no more.
I had to go hardcore “nothing” on this trip. Pressing that reset button, hard, so I can find a new middle of the road going forward.
I dubbed my vacation BBB; Beach, Book & Bikini. I did not plan anything else, and actively decided to not set appointments and deadlines for myself; no petting sharks, partying , snorkeling, seeing Mayan ruins, diving….
Just chilling in the sun, and if I felt like it, catch sunrise and or sunset. And having good chats with amazing people I met on this trip.
This last year has been all about discovering and processing, and because of the progress I made since, I was actually “able’ to go on this vacation.
Same time last year, trying to book a vacation, I didn’t even manage to get past my own shadow, and ultimately, I failed, and gave up, I just crawled under my duvet and hid. From the world and myself.
I am promising myself I will try to be kinder to myself.
I’m already mentally making plans to go on my next trip.
It’s my party and I’ll sparkle when I want to.
