It is time for you to go get your own coffee. I don’t need you anymore, directing my emotions. Thank you for being there when I thought I needed you, when I needed you.
In the times before, you made sure that emotions were quenched before they could surface, like an extra getting on the scene too early; you’d yell: “Cut!” and everything halted. It’s what held me together for all those years; but it held me in a catatonic state. There but not there.
These last five (is it five already!?!?!) years, you carefully monitored if and when these emotions would appear, and instead of “Cut!”, it transformed into more of a “Hey, Laura! Be merry, emotions are inbound!” Wonderful updates from you, but also kind of getting-in-the-way, as they’d actually overwhelm the emotions themselves appearing.
I’d described that as: “I feel tears welling up, so I start smiling about these emotions just coming in.”
So, off you go. Go get that coffee. You deserved it.
If or when you want to come back, I’ll have a special seat for you at side stage, as my movie continues.
